The England Swings show is on the air each Sunday, presenting the best, brightest, newest, and coolest music from the United Kingdom. Come join us today as we consider the twists, turns, and permutations of British popular music! 


Time : 6:00 p.m. ET
Places : 


In Northern Virginia : Cox and Verizon digital cable channel 37
In Reston, Virginia : Comcast channel 27
Anywhere else in the world : http://www.fcac.org/webr


Today, we'll have a wonderful collection of music old and new for your listening pleasure. We have new tracks by the Gorillaz, Broken Records, Robyn, and lots more, as well as older tunes from Steve Hackett, Herman's Hermits, Cliff Richard, and much more than that! We'll also have our regular features : 


The Fab Four Freakout : Beatles tunes, with rare tracks
UK Music News : The Kinks are (not) getting together again!
Top 5 Countdown : The best-selling songs in the UK TODAY - a new number one!


Join us at 6:00 p.m. ET as we spin!
 



The new princess of British pop returns with a new album this week, and it's messy. "Messy Little Raindrops", the second album by Cheryl Cole in just under a year, is a continuation of the approach that was used on "3 Words". That approach? Throw things at the wall and see what sticks. 


Not too much of the music here sticks. 


We've got the initial single, "Promise This", a hyperactive romp which showcases Cheryl's voice a bit better than anything on the previous album. You can actually hear an unprocessed, single voice on rare occasions in the song. 


Here's a caveat : in the last year, Cheryl has contracted malaria and divorced Ashley Cole, but if you're looking for any significance in these songs that describe her life, you'll search in vain - she only co-wrote two of them, and both of them are done with her demon of choice, will.i.am. Many of the reviews of the album that have appeared have noted an element of pathos that they attribute to Cheryl, but she's just a showroom dummy most of the time - these are not her sentiments. I'm not sure she has any. 


What we have here instead is modern pop, melted and blenderized into a messy little package that makes a lot of noise, but says nothing. Compare this to, for instance, the last two albums by Robyn, and see how much it suffers. Robyn has personality to spare, and everything on her records reflects that. Cheryl? Not so much. Maybe she casts no reflection. 


But don't be discouraged, pop fans - there's an occasional good one here! "Yeah Yeah" has whoopy synths and, um, Travie McCoy. "Amnesia" has some interesting production and a great vocal. "Hummingbird" holds itself together in a Beyonce-ish sort of way. "Happy Tears" features another good vocal, adequate instrumentation, and is barely marred by a sappy lyric. 


Unfortunately, all the good stuff tends to be outweighed by the soulless and/or just plain stupid decisions on many of the tunes. Cheryl has branched out her production to various sources, but she's managed to get mediocre work from many Big Names. "Better To Lie", for instance, is produced by the Modern American Pop producer of the moment, J.R. Rotem, and - no surprise - it sounds like a b-side by Jason DeRulo or Iyaz, complete with a clone of their vocals by the name of August Rigo. The two will.i.am tunes range from average ("Live Tonight") to the absolutely intolerable "Let's Get Down", which manages to be both stupid and offensive. Someone PLEASE tell will.i.am that the whole "popping bottles" thing is beyond cliche at this point? 


We've got "The Flood", the Big Ballad that goes through the motions. "Everyone" features a phoned-in rap from (sigh) Dizzee Rascal. The semi-title track "Raindrops" becomes obnoxious after a minute or so in - this one was produced by Jean-Baptiste, who was responsible for the dynamite "Acapella" by Kelis. Did Cheryl get a discount from these guys, in return for shoddy work? 


If Cheryl is ever going to reach the holy grail (i.e. the American market), she's going to have to do better than this. There's nothing here that hasn't been done before, elsewhere and better. 


I'm thinking we're about a year out from the big Girls Aloud reunion. 


"Messy Little Raindrops" gets a messy little 4 on the England Swings scale of 1-10. 
 
Last night we had a very special England Swings Halloween show! It was hosted by the ghost of Alfred Hitchcock for the third year in a row, and he was very happy to return from the grave and offer up these tunes : 


Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath (Black Sabbath)
Strawbs - Witchwood (From the Witchwood)


Zombies - Tell Her No
Gentle Giant - Spooky Boogie (Giant For a Day)


Automatic - Monster (Not Accepted Anywhere)
David Bowie - Scary Monsters (Scary Monsters)


Donovan - Season Of the Witch (Sunshine Superman)


Munch Munch - Wolfman's Wife


The Fab Four Freakout : 


Beatles - Maxwell's Silver Hammer (alternate version)
Beatles - Devil In Her Heart (With the Beatles)
Beatles - Baby's In Black (Beatles For Sale)


Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Dawn Of the Dead (You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into)
Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells (edit)


Dave Edmunds - The Creature From the Black Lagoon (Repeat When Necessary)


Moontrekkers - Night Of the Vampire
Who - Boris the Spider


Steeleye Span - Long Lankin (Commoner's Crown)


Screaming Lord Sutch - Jack the Ripper


...and this week's UK top 5 : 


5). Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me (new)
4). Cee-Lo - Forget You (non-mover)
3). Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are (-2)
2). Rihanna - Only Girl (In the World) (new)
1). Cheryl Cole - Promise This (new)


TOP 5 ANALYSIS and REVIEW


It proved to be a Halloween with several treats in the top 5 this week, as three new entries come into the charts, and a new number one is revealed. The old school is well represented by Cee-Lo and Bruno Mars as well. 


So let's talk about Mike Posner and "Cooler Than Me", climbing to number 5 in the UK this week. It had been tipped for the same position just a short time ago, but was beaten out by Katy Perry's "Firework", which loses the battle this week and drops to number 6. 


Posner, a mere 22 years old, can be said to have a near-novelty hit here. The tune is basically a old blues step, with a slightly spooky sound to it (perfect for Halloween!). The tune is nicely produced, with all sorts of percussion, a blarting synth, and occasional strummed guitar. Posner sings the whole thing in a raspy, Rod-Stewart-ish kind of voice. Of course, since it's a modern song, it has a rather wimpy rap in the middle. Addressed to someone that thinks that they're cooler than Mike, the lyrics are clever and a bit silly at the same time. 


The song peaked in the USA back in August, reaching number 6 on Billboard. It's been haunting the lower reaches of the British charts for a while, and finally has reached about as high as it may go. 


On the England Swings scale of 1-10, I give the song a 7.


Cee-Lo holds onto the number 4 with "Forget You". If you've heard the original version of the song, this one is as good musically. Missing from the equation is the humor of the obscenities, but the song still holds up well. It spent two weeks at number 1 in the UK, and now has spent another two at number 4, mostly due to all the heavy competition in the past couple of weeks. 


Possibly a bit too retro to climb much farther on the American charts, the song remains at number 17 this week in the USA. It's a shame that Americans don't quite know what to do with a song like this, because it's a gem. A gem that doesn't really fit into any modern USA radio format. 


I give it an 8.


Bruno Mars is still hanging around in the upper reaches of the charts in both countries. The song went to number 1 on two separate occasions in the UK, and still is managing to stay at number 2 in the USA, after four weeks at number 1. 


It's also a bit retro, but dressed up in modern garb. It features a stunning vocal performance, and could possibly have been done in, say, 1984 and still be a hit. 


I give Bruno a 7.5. 


Rihanna's back. Again. "Only Girl (In the World)" had a humble beginning upon its release in the USA, jumping into the top ten and promptly backing out again. Since then, it's slowly climbed back up until it's sitting at number 3 this week. In the UK, it was released this week, and by the luck of the draw, has become one of the best-selling songs in recent times to NOT go to number 1. That's because of the inevitable Cole crush that we all knew was coming this week. More about that in a minute. 


Rihanna's new song may indicate a reverse in direction for her. It harkens back to "Umbrella" and some of her other tunes that were a bit more innocent and fun, rather than all nasty like "Russian Roulette", or obscenely suggestive like "Rude Boy". She's gone back to looking for a wider (i.e. tween) audience, has added Eurosynth backing, and toned down the lyrics. It's not bad, but it's not that great, either - it sounds like a few dozen other songs out there. I give it a 6. 


So, Cheryl Cole steps onto the X Factor stage, and - just like last year - manages to pull out an ultra-produced song that ends up selling nearly 160,000 copies in a week. There's a bit more of Cheryl here, though; the tune is not quite as processed as "Fight For This Love". 


The tune is called "Promise This", and is fast-paced, slick, and ultimately pretty good. British national treasure, Cheryl has become (sorry, that came out a bit Yoda-speak). 


I'm still not getting the "allawaytoytoy" part, but I can dig it. Let's give it a 7.5. 


There will be an album review tomorrow. Right here. Come back and see, huh?